Eric and I lived in a tiny tiny apartment. 3 rooms to be exact. It was a little difficult to get use to living somewhere else with someone different and be in school as well. I think I expected that marriage would not be perfect especially in the beginning. One thing I did look forward too daily was my glass of wine at night. Every night that went by it became two glasses, then 3 glasses, then 5 glasses, etc. I had never had that kind of freedom with my alcohol before. So I dove in after it. Being such an anxious person the alcohol so calmed me down and looked forward to that feeling in the evening.

I mentioned in my opening post that I have suffered various challenging health issues over many years. One thing I had suffered with since being about 11 years old was these awful huge mouth ulcers. There would be as many as 11-14 in my mouth and on my lips at one time. They were the size of my thumbnail. As some went away others were still coming in and I never had total relief. Eric was convinced there had to be an answer to this problem despite the fact I had been to Duke, Emory, and other prestigious medical places. I endured these very painful sores for 10 years on a constant basis while also having horrible digestive issues which I now believe was caused by stress. I prayed daily for an answer. My husband was of great support and was diligent in finding an answer to the never-ending pain I was going thru due to these awful sores on my tongue, lips, and gums.

       One day while visiting his mother – her best friend was there and I happen to have sores in my mouth at that time. She said she had just heard a nutritionist doctor speak at a luncheon and she believed he could help me. He was an answer to prayer. It turns out I was allergic to a lot of different things in the environment and in certain foods. I had to clean my diet up and eat only fresh items. No preservatives at all. Nothing in a bottle or can basically. Stay on the outside walls of the grocery store. I was allergic to most cleaning products, and things like dust, mold, and mildew. The list was long and it was a major shift in my life. It turns out that the items in the food, plus birth control pills caused yeast in my body and the name for it after it multiplied in my system is candida albicans. Way too much bad bacteria in my gut vs. the good bacteria. The doctor also prescribed holistic medicine since antibiotics were also on the bad list. All the other doctors I had seen over the last 10 years were prescribing antibiotics for me and that was just feeding the sores which is why I was getting worse. The holistic medicine was to build my immune system back up so I could quit getting the sores, and quit having stomach issues.

After about 2 months I was not a lot better. I thought I was going to have to live my life with those sores forever. It sure felt like that. Of course, one of the items I was not supposed to partake of was alcohol. I did not follow directions well. I could not give up my alcohol. The stress of having to eat so precisely and be careful of the different environmental chemicals I was around was like being in prison. I kept thinking to myself do I have to do this for the rest of my life? I will surely go nuts!! I was thinking I could never have a good ole hamburger and french fries ever again?  I was grateful to have found that doctor, but all that stress just made me drink more and more. I slowly became stronger and stronger over the next few years of seeing him, but I did not ever improve to the point that I could add things back into my diet like I wanted to.  It was my first introduction to not picking something up because it was harming you. I was pissed off. It was like AA but it was certain foods and chemicals and alcohol. It took longer because I did everything but give up the alcohol even though the alcohol burned the sores as it entered my mouth. I guess I’m a real alcoholic.