Every day that went by I learned more and more about the program and more about myself as well. I learned I was a lot stronger than I thought I was. The first 30 days I was floating a little on a pink cloud. The second 30 was much harder for me. I still had cravings for beer and wine, and wanted to drink so bad. To not drink only made me stronger, and I didn’t drink. Good for me. The days that were the hardest I just white knuckled it, and said the Serenity Prayer a million times – literally. Many days I questioned if I really wanted to be sober, and those were the days that the phone weighed 1000 pounds. I had to call my sponsor. You always call before not after you drink. My sponsor could always help me talk through the drink and what my thoughts were around why I wanted to drink. She would help me play the  movie all the way to the end. I always only remembered the first 30 minutes of the movie which was happy, and was a “feel good” movie. But there was always an ending to a good movie, and it doesn’t always end happy. Two hours later I would be drunk and falling off the bar stool at the bar, and having a hard time driving home in a possible DUI situation. It was never happy at the  end of the movie. It made the 1000 pound phone worth picking up. My sponsor helped me save my sobriety and my life many many times. I’m lucky enough to have been around long enough now to help others like that now too. That’s what you do. You give it back in order to keep what you have. When you do  that it is a whole lot easier to stay sober. That’s what I want…. to stay sober. Sober life is so good.